ORIENTATION PACKET · REVISION A

Sports 101

HOW EVERY SPORT ACTUALLY WORKS, IN ONE CARD EACH

read one card, survive one conversation

Each sport below gets the same five rows: the point, the game units, the scoring, the calendar, and one fact worth saying out loud. For what to say once you're in too deep, see Lingo 101.

THE POINTMarch the ball into the far end zone. Most points after four quarters wins.

GAME UNITS	4 quarters × 15 minutes. With stoppages: about 3 hours of real time.
SCORING	Touchdown = 6 (then +1 for a short kick, or +2 for a bonus play). Field goal — a kick through the tall yellow uprights — = 3. Safety = 2, rare, crowd loses it.
THE RULE	Four tries ("downs") to gain 10 yards. Succeed: four fresh tries. Fail: other team's ball. A kickoff starts each half and follows every score.
CALENDAR	September–January, one game a week, mostly Sundays. Playoffs, then the Super Bowl in February.

DEPLOY: “Four tries to go ten yards — everything else is elaboration.”

THE POINTBall through hoop. Repeat roughly a hundred times a night.

GAME UNITS	4 quarters × 12 minutes (NBA). A 24-second shot clock forces someone to shoot, constantly.
SCORING	Normal basket = 2. From behind the big arc = 3. Free throw (undefended, after a foul) = 1.
WORDS	Rebound: catching a miss. Assist: the pass right before a basket. Both are counted obsessively.
CALENDAR	82 games, October–April. Then two months of best-of-7 playoffs ending in the NBA Finals in June.

DEPLOY: “Scores run 110-plus, so no basket really matters until the last two minutes — which take thirty.”

THE POINTHit the ball, then run a counterclockwise lap around four bases. Each completed lap = 1 run.

GAME UNITS	9 innings. Each team bats once per inning until it makes 3 outs. No game clock — though there's now a pitch clock to keep things moving.
SCORING	3 strikes = strikeout (out). 4 balls (bad pitches) = a free walk to first base. Ball over the wall = home run, an automatic lap.
CALENDAR	162 games, April–September — yes, nearly every single day. October playoffs, ending in the World Series.

DEPLOY: “It's 162 games. Missing one is fine. Everyone misses some.”

THE POINTPut the puck in the net, worth 1, while on ice skates and being legally shoved.

GAME UNITS	3 periods × 20 minutes. Tied at the end: overtime, then a shootout.
SCORING	Goals, plus assists for the last two passers. A face-off restarts play; a power play means the other team has someone sitting in the penalty box, thinking about what they did.
CALENDAR	82 games, October–April, then two months of best-of-7 playoffs for the Stanley Cup in June.

DEPLOY: “There's only one Stanley Cup — same trophy, re-engraved every year, and every winning player gets it for one day.”

THE POINTBall in the net, worth 1, no hands — except one player per team, the goalkeeper, in gloves.

GAME UNITS	2 halves × 45 minutes, plus stoppage time (the referee's private math). A kickoff starts each half and follows every goal.
TIES	In league play, ties simply stand. In knockout games: 30 minutes of extra time, then penalty kicks, then heartbreak.
CALENDAR	Club leagues run August–May; most have no playoffs — most points wins. The World Cup (countries, not clubs) happens every four years.
VOCAB	It's a match, not a game, on a pitch, not a field, and 2–0 is “two-nil.”

DEPLOY: “The World Cup final is the most-watched sporting event on Earth.”

THE POINTGet a small ball into 18 distant holes in as few strokes as possible. The lowest score wins — golf runs backwards.

GAME UNITS	18 holes = a round. A tournament = 4 rounds, Thursday–Sunday. Halfway through, the cut sends the bottom half home.
SCORING	Par = the expected strokes for a hole. Birdie = one better. Bogey = one worse. Bigger birds are better.
CALENDAR	Nearly year-round, but only 4 majors matter: the Masters (April), the PGA Championship, the U.S. Open, and The Open (British, seaside, windy).

DEPLOY: “Miss the cut and you get the weekend off — and no paycheck.”

THE POINTHit the ball where the other player isn't, inside the lines. Points build games, games build sets, sets build a match.

GAME UNITS	Sets go to 6 games (win by 2, or a tiebreak). Matches are best of 3 sets — best of 5 for men at the majors. There is no clock at all.
SCORING	Love (zero), 15, 30, 40, game. Not 45. Nobody will explain this convincingly, so don't ask.
CALENDAR	January–November, but the 4 Grand Slams are the ones to know: Australian Open, French Open (clay), Wimbledon (grass), US Open.

DEPLOY: “No clock means no mercy — one Wimbledon match lasted 11 hours over three days. The final set was 70–68.”

THE POINT20 drivers in 10 two-car teams race for roughly 90 minutes. First across the line wins that Grand Prix.

GAME UNITS	A season = about 24 Grands Prix on circuits worldwide. Each weekend: practice Friday, qualifying Saturday (fastest lap starts first, on pole), race Sunday.
SCORING	Top 10 finishers score points; a win is worth 25. Two championships run at once: the Drivers' (people) and the Constructors' (teams).
WORDS	Pit stop: all four tires changed mid-race. Box, box: radio code for “come in now.”

DEPLOY: “A pit crew changes all four tires in about two seconds. Your personal best is not close.”

ISSUED BY THE SPORTSBALL DEPT. OF MORALE · ORIENTATION PACKET REV. A · PHOTOS VIA WIKIMEDIA COMMONS
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